Friday, August 3, 2012

The Dawn Of A New Era

Today is the second day of my 9 days straight of work. I dont have a day off until the 11th of this month. This place fucking kills me. I am just hoping that its all worth it in the end...Working myself to utter exhaustion. I really need my car...I really need for this to happen, sooner then later. I really hate having to rely on people for shit like, taking me to and from work...or if i want to go somewhere or get something to eat...I have to ask and rely on someone to help me out. I am just done feeling so useless when it comes to this sort of thing. I am so done being  burden to every one.

I just cant wait. Im so anxious. But its not all hope and stuff. Some times, i feel like this will never happen for me. I'll never have my own car...I should be used to this kind of thing...not getting what I want and having to struggle for everything. I am just so tired and its only day 2 of 9.

Aja is getting married on the 27th. I seriously cant believe she is getting married before me. Everyone in high school always said that i would be the one that was married and had kids first...and in actuality...I am DEAD LAST. It stings a little. It really does. I am trying to get out of the circle of suck so I can build a life...So I can be proud of the person I am instead of feeling disappointment whenever i look in the mirror. I have barely any accomplishments to mark my belt off with. Even though I am extremely jealous....I am happy for Aja. She deserves to find happiness and be treated right. And I believe she has found that. 

Anyway...the wedding is on the 27th....and i will keep everyone updated as the clock ticks nearer...and ill post pictures. I am helping Audrey lead the ceremony...and I am super excited. Lets see if i can keep my tears under wraps. 

Thats all for now...

Hoping this entry is the start of a new leaf...