Thursday, September 11, 2014

Meet The Vessel Of Your Reprisal

After 12 very long, very tiring, very stressful and very emotional weeks...I finally got something I have been waiting to hear. Needing to hear.

An apology. 
The apology that was laced with regret and sadness...hurt and sorrow....And as I let this out finally, after all this time....I feel as if I can breathe again. Forgiven....but never forgotten. Let go...and moving forward.

In case you're all wondering.... 
This is a blog about some truths and I am letting it all out.....

I knew, for a while what was happening and now that it is all over, I can tell you all now the truth of some things...I knew 8 days before I left for Alabama what was happening...but told no one. I kept it to myself...wrote about it....started fighting for things harder....I knew. I felt it in my blood. 

The first thing that tipped me wedding gown was out of the closet one afternoon....and I didn't put it there. My perfume went missing one night. My robe in the bathroom wasn't where i left it...........Someone was digging through my shit and I knew it wasn't my husband......The garden tub in the master bath was used.....while Erich and I were at work. 
The first thing I thought was....."It" is moving in on my territory.

I talked to Aja about all of this....and I decided to take "It" there one late afternoon...because Aja has a funny way of getting things out of people. (love you girl!) And not only did "Its" body language tell us everything...."It" cried....and pleaded for Aja to stop.... I said nothing because, well....I knew. Aja kept going...demanding answers...hammering away at "it"......nothing was said at that moment....but "It" didnt talk to me the whole way home. "It" knew that I knew..... and cried almost the entire way back.

Nothing I have said in the past 12 weeks was a lie....I have tried to keep everything as real as possible with minimal bitching.....but here are a few more truths for those who care and want to know.......
I didn't make anything up, i didn't tamper with journal entries of "its"...I did send some nastyyyy as shit texts....I do have incriminating photos....I burned everything "it" ever owned....I am pretty sure I broke a few of "its" ribs that day.....and just for everyone's piece of mind....I have COMPLETELY shut out that side of my family.....every single one of them. 
Fuck them.
All of them. 
Absolutely worthless. 

There is only going up from here and there isn't a single thing in this world that is going to slow down the progression of that. Until death do us part, right?? I am so beyond happy that life is making a complete 360 for us.I just hope and pray and plead for it to continue. Death never stopped true love, it can only delay it for awhile.

I guess that is enough truth telling for now.....too much truth can get people into trouble.   ;)

Surfing reality,