So, I ran the first experiment I have done in awhile this past weekend, and the result was exactly what I had expected.
Exactly. What. I. Expected.
Most men are foul, abhorrent creatures that completely pique me.
Here's what happened and I am sorry it's so long, but it's ridiculously hilarious:
So, Friday evening, I left my house early to get up to work so I can clean the makeup building out, again...And when I got there, Johnny was showing 2 new security personal around the grounds and through the attractions so they could start working that night. So I followed them through, pointing out all the little trap doors and such that they could sneak out of or into, if need be. After the tour was over, I resumed my position in the makeup building so I could start doing the makeup for our lovely Terrordome critters so we could start our show...after all, call is at 6PM.
Halfway through the evening...Johnny comes into my building, (while we had a few minutes of down time) and asks to see my iPhone. I respond with, "Why?" like any normal person would...and he says, "Just lemme see it." So i hand it to him...and he starts adding a contact into my phone...and I say..."Whose that?" And he says, One of the new security guys...he asked me to do this." So, he proceeds to send a text message to him from my phone, and it reads, "Yo, its Jayme." And he hands me my phone, and leaves.
So, I'm standing there like, Huh? And then my phone vibrates...and it's him and he says, "Wow, I'm really surprised Johnny did his job."
Come to find out...he had asked Johnny to put his number in my phone...why? Well, you're about to find out.
All night this kid is texting me. All sorts of stuff...like, what he likes to do, where he works, where he lives....this and that...normal conversation of two people who just met. So, later on in the evening...He starts saying things along the lines of..."We should be fuck buddies. It's been awhile for me, and you look like you could use it." And in response to that...i said "Huh?"
The conversation progressed from there...and he made it very clear about how I'm "hot" and he wants to "get it in" but we have to "keep it a secret" and "be very discreet and act like we don't know each other at work."
I dont know about you, but thats shady. Umm, everyone in my building knows Johnny put his number in my phone and knows I talk to him...so let's be more awkward and "...act like we dont know each other at work." So, all weekend he was on my ass about coming home with me, coming to my house in the AM for some "good morning fuck-age" and he kept saying things like, "Idc where or when, as long as i'm fucking."
Well, Mr. I Think I Know How These Games Work....You have another thing coming, because I invented this sport.
So, he asked me about being married because of my marital status on Facebook...and I told him I wear a wedding band...blah blah...and he says to me, "You should wear it when I'm fucking you." and the only response I had to that was "Yeah?" And he says..."Yeah, as long as I'm fucking you."
Well, needless to say, I have been making up excuse after excuse about being occupied and/or busy and not being able to hook up...Because to be frank, I was and am completely and utterly disgusted by the fact that he would even have the nerve to pull something like this. I am your superior at work, you dumb shit!
So, any who...he was asking about coming over Sunday morning to, "Get it in." and Sunday morning rolls around and I "just got called into work, I'll hit you up later on." And I went back to sleep. I get up around 4, beings I didn't sleep well after work the prior night, start getting my Terrordome things together and I have a text message that reads..."times ticking...what are you waiting for." And all that's going through my head is...this guy won't give up until he gets what he is after!!
But I ignored it anyway.
Later on at work, I'm putting the actor's makeup on...and i hear something that makes me listen a little closer. Johnny is telling someone i work with.... the security guard wants him to give her his number. So Johnny proceeds to take her phone and put his number in it...And I think to myself...really? So, me trying to prove my point...I text him with the following..."Hey, I'm really sorry...work is killing me...but we'll get together sometime this week." A few seconds pass, and i get a reply. "I'm busy. Thanks anyway. Just friends." And i sent back..."Bwahahahaha, I kind of figured. And she has a boyfriend, so good luck with that." And I didnt get a reply after that.
OK, now here is the issue. This mother fucker WORKS with both of us. (pre-mentioned girl and I) Why the hell would he think he could just go around fucking every girl that would even look at him? Oh, I know why...because you're a ignorant meat head with the brain capacity of a dog drooling on a female in heat. So, I let a mutual friend know what kind of games this cock sucker is playing, and to let other friend know before she makes a fool out of herself.
See, I do this research and experimenting for the sake of all the women out there that have a guy like this buzzing around them like a fly over a pile of shit. Guys who think they are hot shit and can get whatever girl they show tiny spark of interest in. News flash...You are NOT all that. So here's a hint...Go to the gym, go tanning and go get your laundry done...because for some reason, you feel like your life is one big episode of The Jersey Fucking Shore.
I wish I had a photo to post with this entry...So you could see how much of a philistine he is and have a good laugh about it....
What a complete sloven fool.
Stopping douche bags in their tracks one by one,
-J.C.
