I live such a boring fucking life. I seriously do. And it's getting to the point to where if something awesomely drastic doesnt happen, I am going to fucking snap and lose my shit on someone. I am so sick of the same bullshit. The same mediocre shit. Same shitty job, same shitty house, same shitty people, same shitty worthlessness.
Same fucking routine......over and over and over.
What is the next step in life? Where do I fucking go from here? Whats next?? What do I do with myself now?
I am 25 years old and I still feel like I have the life of a 18 year old because the things that normal 25 year olds have, I dont have. And to me, thats a fucking problem. EVERY single one of the kids I went to high school with are married, have kids or are pregnant and expecting kids, have beautiful places to live...
All I have are fucking dreams and journal entries.
I am chomping on the bit to be a REAL fucking person. A wife. A mother. An entrepreneur. Fucking happy for ONCE in my life. And everyone and everything in my life is holding me back. I have my entire life on HOLD waiting for something to happen...Waiting for a decision or an escape. Something that will clear my head and make me smile. I want the "grown up things" so bad. I am not getting any younger. It is time to progress with life and stop doing childish, immature things. And I am getting so fucking frustrated that everything is at a stand still.....and I'm almost to the point of being fed up with it.
Sweet moon, I am so fucking pissed off today. I should probably just go back to bed so I don't say the wrong things to people.
Trying not to breathe this stagnant air,
-J.C.
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