Once again, it is another turn of month. October slid right into November...Samhain wasnt as fabulous as it has been previous years. I guess my theory of, when you get older things become less interesting, is getting more true as time passes.
I have been job searching again. Looking for something more, that will give me some extra cash in the pocket...extra cash that can be saved for the things that need to be taken care of. Things that I have talked about over and over...and it feels like I am just beating a dead horse, so I might as well not even mention it.
My patience are being worn to the tiny last fiber.
So this weekend, I am attending the TerrorDome Staff Party...and after that, I am quitting smoking. It's just another useless, frivolous thing that I can stop. There is no need to spend 10$ per pack of cigarettes, 5 or 6 times a week. Another sacrifice I am going to make to try harder to have a successful future. I want it so bad...So I will give up everything in order to get things rolling.Time to stop sticking my big toe in the water to test it....It's time to just jump in.
I really need to stop banging my wrists against the side of tables. It's starting to hurt. But it's the only thing that keeps me occupied right now. It keeps me from biting my fingers until they are bloody.
With water in my lungs,
-J.C.
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