Wednesday, December 14, 2011

Teal Lipstain Or Am I Just Frozen?

Another long day at work...and all I want to do is shower and sleep. I don't even need food tonight...just comfort. Just want to be held as I drift into a sleep...
A sleep that is fitful and broken...Like it has been for months. I wake up a million times a night...and I toss and turn through out because for some reason, my dreams have been like waking up in a fit of despair and not knowing where you are. They are like, opening your eyes for the first time and all your familiarity is completely turned upside down. Nothing is what it seems.

I think I might start taking sleeping pills again, just so I can sleep straight through and have dreamless nights.

And the migraines are getting progressively worse. They are almost everyday even though I am very good at hiding how much pain I am in. My shoulder has been nothing but anguish...It feels like it's burning...Like there is a fire inside of it. 

On a lighter note, I got another wedding package today in the mail. It's the little sparkly scatter pieces for the tables. That means there is only a few more things that I need to get for them! And then I have to figure out favors (urghhhh) and still find a unity candle that Adam and I both actually like and a cake server/knife set that isnt effin tacky. As fun as the planning and deciding is...I really just can't wait until it's over. Tomorrow, it will be exactly 9 months until the wedding. I have 9 months left....to buy everything, sell the dress that I hate on eBay, find a new dress, get all my bridesmaids on the same page and have them order their dresses, figure out the linen and china rentals, buy a chocolate fondue fountain, figure out the flowers and make the bouquets and boutonnieres for the boys when it's time and Adam has to find a bakery or whatever to do the cake...Arghhhh.   

Can we just skip to September 14th 2012? And everything is done.....please? I wish I would win the lotto...then I could just hire a wedding planner and have them do all the above, with no budget...Just go all out. 

Sigh.....if only.




Anyway, I guess that is enough out of me tonight. Tomorrow is my final day of work....and then I can have off for ONE WHOLE DAY on Friday...And then back to the grindstone for a 20 hour work weekend....Awesomeeee. 

-.-





Setting fire to the rain, 
-.J.C.

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