The days seem to keep getting harder and harder. Some days I wake up and I can't breathe...Like there is a brick on my chest.
I am just so sick of all the redundancy. I hate my job, i hate where i live, i hate not being able to travel, i hate doing the same things every day. The same routine....How can anyone stand doing the same shit all the time?
I wish i could fly.
I know I have to hold on...I know I am stronger then this...I have to fight through this...I have to keep struggling to breathe because I dont have any other choice. I have to suck it up...be a big girl....wait my turn for greatness...
Whenever that may be.
I am standing still again...in a room surrounded by people...screaming at the top of my lungs and not one person can hear me.
And you wonder why I am so sad all the time. Its so hard to draw the line to where the memories started of being sad....to where they should have ended.....I know nothing BUT sadness. That's all i have ever lived. Spoonfuls of anguish is all I have ever been fed.
I'm such a whiny fucking bitch. I hate feeling like this. I hate feeling tortured by the thoughts in my head. I wish they would stop. I wish the static would go away. I wish, just for once, things were going to be ok.
Trying to kill the noise,
-J.C.
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