Another year has flown by. Yet again, the cycle continues to spin...and I feel like I am in the same place i was last year...metaphorically of course...
I wish i was in a different place then i was this time last year...but i'm not. Im still floundering and digging for something that I feel like will never come....and the harder i push for it, the farther away it seems.
Is there something wrong with me? Am i that difficult to be around? I keep saying...I'll give this one more shot...but yet, every time i try it one more time...it fails....miserably. I feel like, I can just already call the outcome and save myself the fuck you at the end of it. Nothing survives.
I am so fucking turned around...displaced...and ridiculously sober...and i fucking hate it.
The quiet is scaring me because it screams the truth....im alone.
You are by yourself and you are nothing.
How much longer do walk this thorn covered path that is my life? It's digging itself in...deep, tearing apart my flesh.
Wounds reveal who we are.
No, they make you weak.
Am I weak? Is the world my chew toy?
The world fucking hates you.
Im so much more then meets the eye.
Then they must be blind.
Break me.
You have already been broken.
Happy 24th birthday to me.
Goodnight,
-J.C.
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