Sunday, March 6, 2011

The Air Is Thick Tonight

Shh. You hear that? Its one of the best sounds I think exists. Silence, except for rain clinking off of my window pane. I love this. The way it sounds. The way it feels. The way it grabs me by my emotions and swirls them around in the mud it creates. 

Then the silence is drowned out by some music thats on my iPod...and thats ok...it helps me focus. 
All day, while at work, I kept thinking i just wanted to get home so i could sit in my room and write...i needed to write all day...there's been something just gnawing at me...maybe it's the weather today, or the way my coffee tasted, or maybe it was the way my cigarette smoke filled my lungs. I'm not sure what it was...but the thought of just sitting here writing appealed to me beyond belief today.

The past few days, I have been mentally adrift...like I just been seeing haze...aggravated red haze...sometimes purple confused haze...but disconnected none the less. Maybe there is something wrong with me. Maybe I am starting to lose myself. It's like this state of mind is eating away at me and i can't seem to shake the shit off. But if you think about it, you have to have yourself before you can lose it, right? There has to be some sort of substance before you can misplace it. Misplace...like my thoughts were my keys. 

-huff-

Ya know, most artistic people are troubled, or so I hear...but more so then none, i find myself drowning in thoughts and images that for some reason, i cant, or shouldnt, jot down to share...most of my thoughts are my own...I keep secrets...my heart is an ocean of secrets. 

Blah. Ramblage. 

I just want to go dance in the rain...but it's cold rain...ice cold. I'd rather not have my pretty bow shaped lips turn blue tonight. Not tonight. Maybe tomorrow. Probably not. But maybe. 

I had a dream the other night, and when i woke up, it made me stop and think that maybe I was born in the wrong era. I should have been born in a time where people went naked all the time... So i could go out sky clad and not be shamed for it. 

Just saying. 


I guess thats enough blah de blah from my mouth this evening. 

Pricking the thick air with my razor sharp literature,
-J.C.

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