Good Witch Or Bad Witch

Here comes another blog about the fucked up shit that I have done in my life...

So here is a story...you comfy?

Once upon a time, a dear friend of mine (we will call him MJ) and myself packed up our belongings and headed to Indiana with another friend of ours. (We will call him Y.) When we finally got to our destination, MJ and I cleaned our new house top to bottom, painted every square inch, moved in furniture and decorated. In a matter of no time, said house became our home. 

Over the course of several months, MJ and I each acquired jobs, planted a garden and formed a band. Y was the drummer of said band. The three of us were peas in a far out pod and having such a wonderful time, all being room mates. 

Well...

I dont know if any of you guys ever experienced living with room mates...but after awhile, all the fun starts to wear off...MJ and I banded together...and became trouble makers....

Now...I was asked a few days ago a question that was supposed to be in my TMI Tuesday vlog but I decided too just write about it here instead...why, you ask? Because it's fucked up, thats why. Said question was...is there anyone you want to tell something to that you havent gotten the chance to?

Well, as a matter of fucking fact...I DO... 

Here goes:

Over the course of a few months, Y became so unbearable and obnoxious with his socially unacceptable ways that if I didnt know any better, I would have slit his throat while he slept. He was huge. Obese and disgusting. He ate everything. He followed me around like a sick dog. He was always trying to touch me...He smelled. He FREQUENTLY urinated in his bed and left the dirty, wet sheets on it for weeks. Well, MJ and I found this hysterical. 

Why? Because we were bad, bad people. 

One evening, I made a big pan of baked ziti for dinner. MJ and I ate a normal amount, cleaned up and then watched a movie....Y decided he wanted to eat until he couldnt move...which wasn't uncommon...MJ and I sat and watched as this glutton devoured almost HALF of the tray by himself...So, the next day, we both bet that when Y had returned home from his job hunt, he would eat the remainder of the left overs...(Over the previous weeks, we acquired a dog that was still too young to eat hard kibble...)So, we brewed up this hilarious joke of mixing in a can of soft dog food in with the ziti...and see if Y noticed...

He didnt. And plowed through the rest of the ziti, without even taking a breath...or even stop shoveling in food long enough to even taste it. If he was a normal human and chewed and ate, NORMAL...he would have noticed there was an ENTIRE can of dog food mixed in. 

Then, some time down the line...we noticed that Y brushed his teeth literally once a week...So, the day for annual teeth brushing came...and MJ and I decided it would be a trip to brush our full grown Saint Bernard's teeth with it before hand...So, we did...and placed it back in Y's toothbrush holder...and sure as shit...Y brushed his crusty, yellowing teeth with dog slobber and such...

 One night, we put cottage cheese under Y's pissed soaked mattress...Why? To see if he could distinguish the smell of rotting dairy product from his own stench...Answer...NOPE...

Are you amused? I was. I was head over heels with laughter. 

Now...question for you... Am I a good witch or a bad witch? Did I do all of these terrible things just for a laugh or did I do it because I am evil and rotten to the core and like to see people in misery?

Or did I do it because people who are foul, disgusting...grotesque fucks deserve to have shitty things done to them? 

Or was MJ and I just victimizing Y for the sheer pleasure?

You be the judge and jury...

Until my verdict is announced, I will be sun bathing in the Elsewhere.

Aching from the peels of laughter, 

-J.C.